Shadowed Paths
by Nixa Jane
Summary: A.U. Rogue stops John from leaving the X-Jet, but has she made things better for him? Or worse?
1. Part One

|Shadowed Paths|  
  
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Author's Notes: This is an alternate ending to the movie, and the consequences brought on by the different circumstances. Probably John/Rogue as well as the canon Bobby/Rogue in later chapters.  
  
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"I'm sick of this kid's table shit," John said agitatedly. "I'm going out there."  
  
"You can't!" Bobby snapped. "They told us to stay here."  
  
"Do you always do as you're told?" John demanded.  
  
When neither of his friends answered, John turned away with a look of vague disgust.  
  
"John," Rogue said loudly. "Stop. You can't go out there. You won't be able to help them, you can only complicate things."  
  
John turned around to face her. "Maybe. But I can't stay here and do nothing. They might need help, Rogue--they could be dying and we're sitting here like we're in study hall. If you want to stay here, fine. Be my guest, but I can't do it."  
  
"John," Bobby said. "Rogue is right. You can't do this."  
  
John turned to glare at his best friend. "How are you going to stop me?" he demanded.  
  
Hardening her heart, Rogue ripped off a glove and stepped up to him. "I'll stop you," she said.  
  
She reached out and held her hand to the back of his neck, with a startled gasp, John fell to his knees. Rogue didn't let go until all the tiny veins running through him became visible. Bobby was staring at her with an expression between fear and admiration, but she didn't see him--she was looking at her hand in startled disgust.  
  
She hated what she could do with a mere touch.  
  
Bobby knelt beside them both and lowered John to the ground. John had one hand clamped to his forehead, and his other hand was clenching into a fist, then relaxing before twisting into a fist again. "Jesus," he gasped.  
  
That had been worse than last time, much worse. He was guessing his resistance levels hadn't quite gone up all the way before Rogue decided to start up a second round.  
  
"I'm sorry," Rogue whispered, horrified at what she had done. "God, I'm sorry, but I had to stop you."  
  
John turned his eyes to meet hers, and there was a sadness in them so deep Rogue couldn't hold his gaze. "What makes you think you've stopped me?" he whispered before slipping into unconsciousness.  
  
Rogue pushed herself back on her heels. She didn't like the sound of that. Bobby looked over at her, and she found she couldn't meet his gaze, either. She had a horrible feeling all she had done was make things worse.  
  
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2 Weeks Later : Magneto and Mystique escaped in the helicopter, and Jean sacrificed herself to get the X-Jet in the air. John was taken back to Xavier's with the others.  
  
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Fire surrounded her. Everywhere she turned, each exit she found, went up in flames before she could reach it. But she was strangely unafraid. Something in the fire made her feel safe--a feeling that no matter how close it got it couldn't touch her.  
  
The smoke was hovering above her now, growing into a giant cloud suspended over her head. She could hear someone screaming in the distance, and the voice brought a piercing fear into her heart. A name. They were calling her. No, not calling her . . . the voice belonged to a woman, and she was screaming John's name.  
  
Rogue shot up in bed, the sound of a terrified voice desperately screaming her friend's name still echoing through her mind.  
  
She'd been dreaming again. Dreaming John's dreams.  
  
It had happened every night since they had returned, every night since she had grabbed his ankle and stolen a piece of him. And then she had gone and touched him again, that very same day, and pulled more of his haunted past into her mind.  
  
She knew she had no choice, but she would give almost anything to not keep feeling his pain. She would give even more if it would make John able to meet her eyes again--make him look at her with anything other than the hate that had come to rest there.  
  
John wouldn't go near any of them now. He barely spoke, and when he did, it was never civil. She wasn't exactly sure what they had done to trigger such a reaction in him, but every time she looked at him, all she could feel from him was the deep hurt of betrayal. She didn't understand it. All she had been doing was protecting him, if he'd gone out into that snow alone he could have been killed. She never would have been able to live with herself if that had happened.  
  
But John couldn't seem to live with her now.  
  
Over the last two weeks, all the work she'd put into being John's friend had been undone. In two short weeks, John and Bobby, once inseparable best friends, had not spoken one word to each other.  
  
Rouge pulled the covers off of her and grabbed her robe. She wasn't going to let this happen. She wouldn't lose John over this--not when all she had been doing was trying to help. He could nurse his wounded pride and hurt feelings if he wanted, but she wasn't going to let him shut himself away. She'd seen in his memories what that would do to him, and she wasn't about to let it happen now.  
  
She padded carefully down the hall to John's room, and when she reached the door she didn't bother to knock. If she did he wouldn't let her in. She stepped inside, and expected John to immediately grab for his lighter and light up the room, but nothing in the darkness moved. Frowning, she reached for the light switch.  
  
The room flooded with artificial light, and Rogue gasped when she saw John wasn't there. It was 2.00 AM, and he wasn't there. Pulling the robe tighter around her, she walked over to his bed and sat down. That was fine. He wasn't here? She would wait for him. He had to show up sometime.  
  
With a sigh, Rogue flopped down on his bed. She was determined to set things between them right. As soon as he returned from wherever it was that he had gone, she would.  
  
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John carefully entered the mansion and closed the door behind him. He listened for a moment to see if anyone had heard, but then started up the steps towards his room. He was pretty sure only one person knew about his late night excursions, and for whatever reason, Xavier had yet to question him about them.  
  
John sighed as he continued up the steps. He probably knew that questioning him right now was the quickest way to send him packing. He was so sick of this school, and everyone it held. John knew as well as any of them he was searching for a reason to leave.  
  
He frowned when he saw that his door was open and the light was on. Maybe Xavier was going to finally confront him. Hell, maybe Baldy was going to kick him out himself. John wouldn't be surprised.  
  
John paused in the doorway, and leaned against the doorjamb with a slow grin. Rogue was sprawled on his bed. Funny, just a couple of weeks ago the sight would have been a dream come true. His smile faded as he realized now it didn't matter. Too much had been changed.  
  
He closed the door with a sigh. The last thing he needed was someone to see Rogue in his room. He had enough trouble without getting stuck with rumors that he was cheating with his best friend's girl. "Rogue," he snapped as he walked over to her. "Rogue!"  
  
Rogue's eyes snapped open, and John drew back when he saw the terror reflected in them. "John," she gasped.  
  
John kneeled beside her, forgetting about the past weeks for a moment. He grabbed her robe covered arm and forced her to look at him. "Are you alright?" he demanded.  
  
"Yes, just a dream," she said breathlessly. "I'm fine. It was just a dream."  
  
John nodded and his expression closed, all traces of concern disappearing as he got to his feet. "Good. Then leave. I still have a chance to get a few hours sleep."  
  
Rogue looked up at him in surprise. "John," she said. "I came here to talk to you."  
  
"I don't want to talk," he said evenly. "I want to sleep. So if you don't mind--"  
  
"Where were you?" Rogue interrupted. "John, where did you go?"  
  
"Somewhere I could breathe," he snapped. "Now go."  
  
Rogue wasn't about to be intimidated. She'd dealt with John in this kind of mood before, though admittedly, in the past the anger had never been directed at her. "I think we have to clear some things up."  
  
"I think that things between us have been cleared up pretty damn good, Rogue," John said. "You made sure of it."  
  
"What is that supposed to mean?" Rogue demanded.  
  
John glared at her. "I could forgive you for stopping me at Bobby's house, Rogue. I was out of hand, even I'll admit it. I could forgive that, even though it pissed me off that you turned against me when I was only trying to get us out of there. But what you did later?" John sneered at her. "That was unforgivable. You don't get to decide what's best for me, Rogue."  
  
Rogue stared at him disbelievingly. "I stopped you on the porch, John, because you were going to kill someone if I didn't--and what happened on the Jet, I was only trying to protect you! You were going to go out there and get yourself killed!"  
  
"Maybe," John said. "But that was my choice, wasn't it? Not yours."  
  
"We're friends, John," Rogue hissed. "If you put your life in danger it affects me too. You can't expect me to not try and stop you from self destructing."  
  
"Is that what you think I'm doing?" John asked with a laugh. "Well, babe, you ain't seen nothin' yet."  
  
Rogue looked un-amused. "You have to stop this, John. We care about you. We're worried."  
  
"You think that changes anything?" John asked. "It doesn't. I don't care if you care, Rogue. So just leave me the hell alone."  
  
"I'm trying to *help* you!"  
  
"I don't want your help! Haven't you been listening?" John tore off his coat and slumped into his desk chair. Agitatedly, he reached into his pocket and pulled out his lighter. Without looking at Rogue, he began to open and close it.  
  
"John," Rogue whispered. "Whatever happened between us, we can fix it. That's what friends do."  
  
John shook his head in disbelief. "God, you really have no idea what you've done? Do you?" John asked her intensely. "You were the last person in my life, Rogue, the last one, that I trusted implicitly. And now that's gone. I have no one left."  
  
Rogue was near tears, but she stubbornly held them back. She wouldn't let him get to her over this. She'd only been doing what she had to do to help him, and she would do it all again. "You can trust me, John. But if you don't believe that, then believe you can trust Bobby. He'd do anything for you--he's your best friend."  
  
"Bobby?" John laughed. "Bobby would betray me in an instant if he thought it was 'for my own good.' Or if I strayed even a little off that straight and narrow path he seems to love so much. I've always known that. I just thought you were different."  
  
"I care about you, John!" Rogue cried. "Don't punish me for that."  
  
"Just leave, Rogue," John told her tiredly. "There's no point to this."  
  
Rogue glared at him. "You selfish son of a bitch!" she cried.  
  
John looked up, startled at the uncharacteristic outburst.  
  
"You think all you have to do is decide you don't want to care about any of us any more and that's it?" she demanded. "You think it's that easy? Well here's a news flash, Pyro, you don't get to do that. I'm your friend, and maybe we had a disagreement, but you deal with it and you move on."  
  
John wouldn't meet her eyes, he kept his gaze on the flame dancing up from his lighter. Rogue came over and knelt in front of him, and the tears in her eyes held tiny reflections of the fire. "Look, I'm sorry, okay? Maybe I screwed up. I hurt you, I know, but that was only because you scared me. You get this look in your eyes sometimes, John, and it terrifies me because it's the look of someone who thinks he's capable of anything."  
  
"I'm not," John whispered.  
  
"No, you aren't. And that's why I had to stop you before you got yourself killed," Rogue told him softly.  
  
John finally met her eyes, and Rogue was shocked when she saw they were glassy with unshed tears. "It wasn't your place, Rogue."  
  
"No," she said. "I guess it wasn't. But I would do it again--you mean too much to me for me to let you walk away without a fight."  
  
Rogue hated to see John looking this uncertain, the only time she had seen it before was in the memories she had pulled from his past, he was always so collected now. Except she knew he thought all the foundations he had built here were crumbling beneath his feet, and she couldn't imagine how lost he must feel.  
  
"I'll always be your friend, John," she told him. "And friends are there for one another, whether you want them to be or not."  
  
"You nearly killed me when you touched me, Rogue," he told her quietly.  
  
"I'm sorry," she said brokenly. "I never would have held on long enough to-- "  
  
"I'm not talking about physically," he interrupted. "I don't understand it myself, but you took something from me when you stopped me from leaving, Rogue, and I don't know how to get it back."  
  
"I'm so sorry," she whispered again.  
  
He turned away from her. "I know, I just don't think it's enough." John got up from the chair and went over to collapse on his bed. He turned his face away from her. "Turn off the light when you leave."  
  
Rogue watched him for a moment, trying to decide if she should say more. John was so still though, and she knew he was praying she would just leave. She turned the light off and walked out of the room.  
  
Only when the door was closed behind her did she let the tears fall.  
  
TBC 


	2. Part Two

"You look awful."  
  
Rogue looked up with bleary eyes. She'd come into the den to watch morning cartoons and promptly collapsed on the couch. Bobby had seen her when he was passing by, and was now looking at her concerned.  
  
"Rogue, are you okay?"  
  
"I didn't sleep well," she told him.  
  
"You haven't been sleeping well for awhile," he told her gently. "Maybe you should tell the Professor--"  
  
"I'm fine, Bobby," she told him firmly. "I can handle this on my own."  
  
Bobby nodded and gave her a small, uncertain smile. "You sound like John."  
  
Rogue attempted to smile back. "God forbid," she said teasingly. "Speaking of John, have you seen him?"  
  
"Seen him?" Bobby asked tiredly. He ran a hand through his hair. "Not for the last two weeks, no. Anytime I try to get close he takes off. I'm worried about him, ever since Boston--I mean, I was angry at him, but I never wanted our friendship to get like this."  
  
"I know," Rogue whispered. "It wasn't supposed to be like this."  
  
"We should find him and talk this through," Bobby said. "This whole thing has gone on long enough."  
  
Rogue looked over at Bobby sadly. She had already decided not to tell Bobby about her conversation with John, because she knew he had said things to her he wouldn't want Bobby to know. For some reason, even though she was the one that had hurt him and not Bobby, she had a feeling if he would talk to anyone it had to be her. "I don't think that's a good idea," she told him softly. "Maybe we should give him some space."  
  
Bobby frowned. "Two weeks, Rogue--"  
  
She nodded. "I know. But he's going through a hard time right now, and I think us backing him into a corner is the last thing he needs."  
  
Reluctantly, Bobby nodded. "Okay. We'll give it a few more days, but if nothing changes, I think I'm going to see the Professor and ask--"  
  
"Bobby, no," Rogue whispered, horrified. "That's the worst thing you could do. If John even heard you were thinking about it he would take off, and we'd probably never see him again."  
  
"I didn't mean, I mean--I'm not going to betray him, Rogue. But he needs someone to help him."  
  
"I know," Rogue nodded. "But he has to help himself first."  
  
Bobby sighed. "Okay. Okay, you're right. Look, I'm going to get breakfast, why don't you join me?" Bobby asked her gently. "We can try and talk about something else for awhile."  
  
Rogue shook her head. "I'm not hungry," she told him. "We'll talk later, okay?"  
  
Bobby nodded. "Alright," he said disappointedly.  
  
After Bobby had gone, Rogue stood and started back for her room. She'd been up almost the whole night worrying about John, and the guy had the nerve to wake up before her, looking as awake as ever and disappearing the moment she caught sight of him. She needed to see him, there was still so much unfinished business between them.  
  
She was about to turn and start up the stairs when she saw him leaning against one of the wood paneled walls. He was looking directly at her, playing with his lighter.  
  
"John," she started, but he shook his head.  
  
"Not now," he told her simply. Then he walked away, and vanished down another hall.  
  
Rogue sighed. Not now, he says. When then? He was a ghost during the days, slipping through the halls and doing his best to go unnoticed, and at nights--at nights he went god knows where and didn't come back until morning.  
  
Rogue paused then, getting an idea. She smiled and continued back on the way to her room. That would work. Tonight, if he left the mansion, she would be waiting for him. And she was going to go with him, whether he wanted her to or not.  
  
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John exited his room with a sigh. He knew one of these nights, when he snuck out as had become routine, he was going to just keep going. And never come back.  
  
He didn't know what it was that had stopped him so far, he couldn't figure out why he wasn't gone already. Something he couldn't put his finger on was keeping him here, and a part of him he didn't want to listen to was whispering that it was because of Rogue.  
  
That would be stupid, though, because he knew better than to get attached to anyone. Rogue and Bobby both had gotten too close, it gave them the power to hurt him and that was unacceptable. That was why he had to leave.  
  
But there was still something holding him back.  
  
He slowed down as he neared Rogue's room, listening with half an ear just to make sure she wasn't having another nightmare. Not that he cared, of course.  
  
But as he got closer he realized the door was open, and Rogue was outside in the hall, sitting on the floor with her back resting against the wall. She was wearing her favorite blue hooded jacket and a pair of black gloves.  
  
John sighed in resignation. "What are you doing?" he demanded. He already knew.  
  
Rogue got to her feet and smiled charmingly. "Why, I'm going with you."  
  
"No," John said simply, moving passed her and starting down the stairs.  
  
Rogue followed him undeterred. John rolled his eyes but didn't stop her. Together they crept out the main foyer and out the door.  
  
"Where are we going?" Rogue asked.  
  
John turned to face her. "Well, I'm going for a walk. You can head right back on inside. Isn't it past your bedtime?"  
  
Rogue glared at him. "You're not getting rid of me tonight, St. John Allerdyce. So you might as well get used to it."  
  
"Fine," he said simply. "I don't care what you do."  
  
Rogue didn't believe that for a minute. She jogged up beside him. "So, where are we going?" she asked again.  
  
He snorted. "You're annoying, you know--has anyone ever told you that?"  
  
"Only you," Rogue told him.  
  
"Well, that makes sense then," John said with a nod. "I'm always right."  
  
"You still haven't told me where we're going," Rogue prompted.  
  
"Maybe I'm not going anywhere," John said.  
  
"Maybe you need to learn to give a straight answer," Rogue said wryly.  
  
John grinned despite himself, and turned to look at her. "Have you always been like this?" he asked. "I seem to recall you being nicer."  
  
"You bring out the worst in me," she told him with a wry grin.  
  
"Yeah. I get that a lot."  
  
John's voice was teasing, but there was something behind it that had Rogue thinking he thought it was true. "I'm only kidding," she said casually. "You're actually pretty good company when you're not being a complete jerk."  
  
"Is that supposed to be a compliment?" John asked dubiously.  
  
"Absolutely," Rogue nodded.  
  
John moved off the main path and headed off through the grass. Rogue followed him curiously. There was a hole in the main gate, and John easily slipped through.  
  
Rogue frowned at it. "That isn't good. We should tell the Professor there's a hole, someone could--"  
  
John rolled his eyes and reached through the hole to grab a hold of her jacket and give her a tug through. "Do me a favor, will you? If you're going to follow me around all night, at least do it quietly."  
  
Rogue made an affronted noise and pulled her arm from his grasp. "Fine. If you're going to be like this maybe I should just go back to the mansion--"  
  
John turned away from her and started down the side walk. "See ya," he said.  
  
Rogue growled and started after him. "That was where you were supposed to say, no, Rogue, I don't want you to leave."  
  
"I thought you goodie-goodie's didn't approve of lying?" John asked innocently.  
  
"You're impossible," Rogue told him.  
  
The two fell silent then, and John led them through one of the local parks, then over a gate with a sign that read "No Trespassing." They went up the hill behind the park, Rogue following him, just barely stopping herself from asking where they were going again.  
  
John smiled slightly when they finally reached a clearing, and he walked over to a drop off and looked down. Rogue followed him curiously, and gasped when she saw the view. "It's beautiful," she said looking down at all the city lights in the distance.  
  
"I guess," John said dropping to sit on the ground. He leaned back on his elbows. "But that's not why I come here."  
  
Rogue sat down beside him. "Why do you come here?" she asked him curiously.  
  
"Because it's quiet," he said. Then he shot her a wry glance. "And to be alone."  
  
Rogue gave a sheepish grin. "You already spend enough time alone."  
  
"You've been spending a lot of time alone too," John said casually.  
  
Rogue looked away. "How would you know?"  
  
"Because it used to be whenever I saw you, you were with Bobby. Now anytime I see either of you, the other's no where in sight. Why?"  
  
"It's hard to explain," Rogue said. "But I'm going through something right now, and Bobby can't help me with it."  
  
John pulled out his lighter, and stared at it, studiously avoiding Rogue's eyes. "Maybe I can," he offered hesitantly.  
  
Rogue turned to him in surprise, but nodded. "You're the only one who can," she said. "I just didn't want to ask."  
  
"What are you talking about?" he asked with a frown.  
  
"When I touched you, John," she said quietly. "I got more than temporary control of your powers."  
  
"My memories," John said in realization. "The nightmares?"  
  
Rogue nodded. "I've been having them every night." Rogue looked over at him. "Maybe if I understood them they would stop."  
  
John looked uncomfortable; he started playing with his lighter. "What are you dreaming of?" he asked quietly.  
  
"Fire."  
  
John nodded, that much he could guess. He always dreamed of fire. "What else?" he asked.  
  
"Someone is always screaming your name," she told him quietly. "And then I start to panic."  
  
John got abruptly to his feet. He shoved his hands into his pockets, and walked back over to look down at the city lights. Rogue watched him from where she was. "What happened to you, John?"  
  
"I don't go around whining about my life story, Rogue," John snapped.  
  
Rogue was undeterred. "I'm not asking you to," she told him evenly. "I'm asking you to confide in a friend, John. We need this, both of us."  
  
John swung around to face her. "You can't guess what happened? I set my house on fire," he told her offhandedly. "And then I put the fire out, which, believe it or not, was actually the worst thing I could have done."  
  
"John," Rogue said soothingly. "What happened?"  
  
John turned away from her again. "My mom had a bunch of candles out. She loved candles, and I always loved the fire. I was just sitting there, just-- just watching it, and it suddenly flared up, it spread to the table cloth, the curtain, to everything.  
  
"My mom thought I knocked the candle over, she was mad, but more worried about calling for help and getting me out of the smoke than anything else. But I knew she was upset, and I wanted to fix it. I wanted to make the fire go away--so I held out my hand and it did."  
  
"John," Rogue whispered.  
  
"My mother started screaming at me, asking me what I was, I didn't know what she meant then, I was just a kid."  
  
"Did you run away?" Rogue asked him gently.  
  
John laughed, and it was so bitter that Rogue winced. "If I had known what was going to happen--I would have."  
  
Rogue steeled herself, and got up to walk behind him. "What happened?"  
  
"They handed me over to anti-mutant experimental group--asking them to 'fix' me," John said bitterly. "I was nearly killed."  
  
"But you weren't," Rogue reminded. "Did Professor Xavier get you out?"  
  
"I got myself out," he snapped. "There was a short in one of their machines, and there were a couple sparks--I turned them into fire." He paused. "I burned the guards pretty badly. It was the first time I had ever hurt anyone . . ."  
  
Rogue looked at him understandingly. She remembered the first time she had hurt someone with her powers all too well. "That must have been hard for you."  
  
"You're wrong. It was easy." John met her eyes. "That was what scared me."  
  
Rogue could understand that too. She'd desperately wanted to hurt Magneto with her powers when she'd seen him on the X-Jet. "That's understandable, John. They'd hurt you. It was very brave of you to get away."  
  
"Don't patronize me, Rogue," John snapped.  
  
"I'm not," she told him quickly. "I'm trying to be a friend."  
  
John ran a hand through his hair in agitation.  
  
"What did you do then?" Rogue asked him quietly. "Did you go to Xavier's?"  
  
John shook his head. "It was a few years before Xavier found me. I didn't go to the school until I was fifteen."  
  
"What did you do until then?" Rogue asked, not sure she wanted to know. She hated to think of John out on his own, she knew how horrible that feeling was.  
  
John turned to look at her. "Anything I had to."  
  
Rogue went quiet, and John pulled out his lighter and sat on the ground. "Look," he said. "Can we not talk anymore?"  
  
Rogue sat down beside him. "Sure," she whispered. "We don't have to talk anymore."  
  
They both looked out the lights, and the only sound that penetrated the silence was John's lighter as he clicked it open and shut.  
  
TBC  
  
Author's Note: I didn't read the comics, so if they give a back story on John, I don't know about it. I decided to just make one up . . . 


	3. Part Three

Author's Notes: Gambit makes a short cameo, but isn't even mentioned by name. I love his character, and would have spent more time on him, but wanted to keep the focus on John and Rogue. This was the hardest part for me to write--and I'm not sure how well it worked. But, there's a bit more Pyro/Rogue in this one and hopefully it works.  
  
Rogue dropped down onto the couch beside John, watching him from the corner of her eye to see what he would do. They had stayed out until 3:00, alternately watching the lights and the stars. John had told her more about himself last night than she suspected he had ever told anyone, and she was worried how he would react to her presence now.  
  
She hoped the talk would bring them closer, but with John, one never knew.  
  
"Hey," she said softly.  
  
John's eyes stayed focused on the news program he had the television turned to. "Hey," he said back.  
  
"Sleep well?" she asked innocently, traces of a grin pulling at her lips.  
  
His eyes rolled incredulously in her direction at that, and he held back a smile himself. "Oh, like a rock."  
  
"Good," she said cheerfully, sounding pleased. She was functioning on less sleep than she probably ever had--but she was strangely energized. "You want to do something today?"  
  
"Not particularly, no," he told her lazily.  
  
"John," Rogue sighed. "You don't have to talk to me only at night, you know."  
  
"I don't have to talk to you at all," he pointed out, picking up the remote and changing the channel.  
  
"Well, no, but I'm glad you are." Rogue looked over at him. "I didn't have any nightmares last night," she told him.  
  
"That's because you didn't sleep last night," John said wryly.  
  
"I had a few hours, and they were pure bliss."  
  
John turned to look at her, and gave a sad smile. "At least it helped one of us, then, huh?"  
  
When he moved to turn away again, Rogue placed a gloved hand on his cheek and held him in place. "This is deeper than what you're telling me, John. This isn't just you being mad at me--this isn't about your past. Something else is going on with you--why won't you tell me?"  
  
John sighed and leaned back against the couch. He pulled out his lighter, and held it tightly in one hand--staring at it but not playing with it. "I can't stop thinking about what he said," he told her finally--so softly she almost didn't hear him.  
  
"What who said?" she asked him, praying it wasn't who she thought.  
  
"Magneto," he said.  
  
"John, no," Rogue started, she turned John to face her again. "He was just trying to get to you. Ignore him."  
  
"I don't think I can, Rogue," he said.  
  
"You have to!" she shouted, bringing herself back in control when several students spun to look in their direction. "You have to," she whispered fiercely. "He's evil, John."  
  
John looked at her, and she thought for sure she was reading him wrong, because that looked like pity in his eyes. "No one is completely evil, Rogue. Magneto has a story, like all of us--and at least he's acting. He's trying to make a difference."  
  
"We ALL are," Rogue told him.  
  
"Are we?" he demanded. "The first thing they teach you at this school is how to hide. And I don't want to hide who I am."  
  
"I don't either, John--but until things get better we have to."  
  
"Things aren't going to just GET better, Rogue," John cried. "We have to make them that way."  
  
"And you think Magneto is doing this?" Rogue demanded. "He would be happy if everyone who was only human were dead. That isn't better."  
  
"Sometimes I think anything would be better than this."  
  
Rogue trapped his head between her hands, forcing him to meet her gaze. She searched his eyes for something she had a feeling she wouldn't find. "You don't believe that," she whispered desperately.  
  
"Am I interrupting something?"  
  
Rogue and John jumped apart at the voice, and looked up to see Bobby Drake staring at them with a mixture of confusion and amusement.  
  
"Bobby," Rogue said in surprise. "No, no of course not. We were just talking."  
  
"I could see that," Bobby said, casting an assessing glance in John's direction.  
  
John began to fidget under his stare, and started to click the lighter open and slam it shut. Rogue placed a hand on his arm to calm his almost frenzied movements. The fact that it worked didn't escape Bobby's attention.  
  
"I have--things to do," John said abruptly. "See ya later, Rogue--Drake."  
  
Bobby watched his friend walk away in bemusement, and then sat down in the seat he had vacated. He turned to Rogue. "You want to tell me what that was about?"  
  
"Nothing, we were just talking," Rogue said again.  
  
Bobby watched her uncertainly. "You're not telling me something. Yesterday, we both thought John would never speak to either of us again. And today the two of you are closer than I've ever seen him get to anyone. What happened, Rogue?"  
  
Rogue sighed. "I'm telling the truth, Bobby. We were just talking. But we've been talking a lot."  
  
"When?" Bobby asked incredulously. "This is one of the first times I've even SEEN John since we got back two weeks ago."  
  
"We talked last night," Rogue told him reluctantly. "We had to work some things out."  
  
"Why didn't you tell me?" Bobby demanded. "I have things I need to work out with him too, Rogue, but you told me to give him space."  
  
"I know I did, Bobby," Rogue said. "And I'm sorry about that, but I still think it's for the best."  
  
"John is MY best friend, Rogue. I've known him a lot longer than you, I think I should talk with him."  
  
"Be that as it may," Rogue said, somewhat harder. "It isn't what he needs right now."  
  
"And what he needs is you?" Bobby asked quietly. "Just what is going on with the two of you?"  
  
Rogue sighed, and looked into Bobby's worried eyes. "You have to trust me, Bobby. I'm trying to help, John--we shared a connection when I touched him that you wouldn't understand. And I need to be the one who does this, not you."  
  
After a moment, Bobby nodded. He knew that when Rogue touched someone she took their memories as well as their powers, and he supposed it would make sense that she now knew John better than anyone. "Okay," he said. "I'm sorry I'm snapping at you," he added. "This whole thing is just getting to me. I miss not having John to talk to."  
  
He didn't say it, but Rogue guessed he missed having her to talk to as well. She regretted that she hadn't been spending enough time with him lately, but it was John who needed her now--and he had to be her priority. Bobby had others he could fall back on, but John only had them, and he didn't even want to admit to that.  
  
Rogue reached out and grabbed his hand. "It'll be okay," she said with a brave smile. "We'll work this out."  
  
________________________________________________________  
  
Rogue was trying to read her new Stephen King novel, but her eyes kept straying towards her open door. Most of the students were asleep by this point, but she had a feeling John wasn't one of them. And for some reason, she couldn't sleep knowing he wasn't. The thought that he would sneak out again tonight without her kept her awake.  
  
He didn't have to walk passed her door to get out, and she wondered briefly if maybe he had gone the other way so he would not have to see her. She didn't like him out there alone, but short of camping outside his door she could see no solution. This time, he would just have to come to her.  
  
She really hadn't expected him to, though. And she was surprised when she felt someone watching her--and looked up to see him standing in her doorway, smiling in that careless way she'd missed these last weeks.  
  
"You coming?" he asked simply.  
  
He left without waiting an answer, and Rogue growled and slammed the book closed--irritated because he already knew she would follow him. She crept down the stairway after him, and was startled when she reached the bottom and John grabbed her hand. He tugged her towards the main door and pulled her along behind him.  
  
She didn't protest, liking the pressure of his hand around hers. Sometimes Bobby held her hand like if he wasn't careful it would break, but John had no such illusions. He ruthlessly pulled her along in his wake.  
  
When they made their way out of the 'gate and started in the opposite direction of last night, Rogue dug in her heels. Irritated, John spun to look at her. "What?" he asked.  
  
"Where are we going?"  
  
"We're going somewhere else tonight," he said evasively.  
  
Rogue looked mildly suspicious. "Where?"  
  
John shrugged. "Somewhere you'll probably hate, but I'm taking you there anyway." He grinned at her. "You've got to live a little."  
  
He reached out and adjusted the collar of her jacket, meeting her eyes as he did. "And no worrying about hurting anyone with your powers, alright? Tonight no one matters but us."  
  
Rogue thought it was probably dangerous, but she liked the way that last part sounded. "Why would I worry about hurting someone with my powers?" she asked suspiciously as he started to pull her along again.  
  
"The place where we're going is . . . well, it's a bit crowded. But you'll be fine. We'll have fun. Trust me." He grinned at her then, and Rogue decided that was the least trust-worthy grin she'd ever seen.  
  
"You certainly seem to be in a good mood, what happened?" Rogue narrowed her eyes.  
  
"I realized something when we were talking today," he said. "Life's too damn short to spend it sulking."  
  
"You weren't sulking, John. You're going through a tough time and avoiding the issues will help no one--"  
  
"Who's avoiding them?" he asked. "I've got it all figured out now."  
  
Rogue's eyes narrowed again. "Why do I find that even more worrying than when you were sulking?"  
  
"I thought I wasn't sulking?"  
  
"You were sulking a little bit."  
  
John rolled his eyes. "Alright look, here's the deal--I want a night to just be with you and not have to worry about anything else? Is that so much to ask?"  
  
"No," Rogue said uncertainly, wondering at how she was supposed to keep up with all his moods.  
  
"Then let's go." He resumed pulling her along.  
  
"Where are we going again?"  
  
"A dance club," he told her. "I used to go there all the time when I first went to Xavier's."  
  
Rogue gaped at him. "The Professor let you go to a dance club at fifteen?"  
  
"Well, no," John said with a laugh. "I made sure no one knew about it. It was just a good place to get away."  
  
The club was a few blocks away from the mansion. It was called "Joey's Place" and looked remarkably bright and clean. They got a table in the back, and sat down to watch the people dance. Alice Deejay was blaring from the speakers, and the overhead lighting kept switching from green to blue to red. Rogue thought it was actually kind of cool--she hadn't got out much since moving into the mansion.  
  
Discreetly, she turned to look at John again. He was quiet now, playing with his lighter like usual and she wondered for a moment if this whole happy-go-lucky thing was just an act he was putting on for her. That would be very un-John-like, though--because he hated pretending.  
  
"What do you think?" John asked her suddenly.  
  
Rogue smiled over at him. "It's nice," she said. Then she looked at him wryly. "But we're hardly living yet. I thought you were going to show me a good time?"  
  
John stood up with a grin, and grabbed her hand to pull her from her seat. Rogue rolled her eyes, it was just like him to not even ask if she wanted to dance. He pulled her close and she wrapped her arms around his neck, not caring that the pace of the song playing wasn't slow.  
  
"What is this, John?" Rogue asked, wondering why her voice was shaking. Something about being this close to him was exhilarating.  
  
He leaned down and whispered in her ear, "The only thing it can be--two friends dancing."  
  
"Right," she said breathlessly--her eyes catching his as he pulled back. They seemed to be caught there for a moment, and Rogue thought that he might even kiss her. Shaking, she pulled herself away from him. "I have to go to the bathroom," she told him quickly.  
  
John just grinned at her and tapped that damn lighter against his lips. She spun quickly, and headed across the room, certain staying near him even an instant longer would be bad for her health. And probably her sanity.  
  
John watched her go and sat back down at their table. Then he wondered what the hell he thought he was doing. If he kept it up, he was sure he would ruin both their lives and not just his own. That morning, though, when they had been talking--even though they'd disagreed on every single point he'd felt a connection to her. One he had never felt with anyone else--and one he didn't want to lose.  
  
"John!"  
  
John's head snapped up at Rogue's shout. Even though most of it was swallowed by the loud music he still heard her. He caught sight of her across the room, struggling in the grip of some guy in a trench coat and sunglasses. He was trying to get her out the back door.  
  
John gripped his lighter and took off after them. He reached the doors just a moment after Rogue had been pulled through them, and tackled the guy to the ground the instant he was on the other side--wondering vaguely as he did so why Rogue had not simply touched him and sent the creep to his knees.  
  
John gripped the guy by the shoulders and slammed him angrily onto the concrete. "What the hell are you doing?" he demanded.  
  
"John, don't--Stop!"  
  
Rogue's voice reached him through his anger and he pulled back. "Rogue, what--?" John trailed off when he realized Rogue had reached out and touched him, without her gloves--and he didn't feel a thing.  
  
He backed away, moving himself away from both of the strangers that led him here.  
  
Rogue smiled mischievously, and with a blink, her eyes were suddenly yellow.  
  
"Mystique," John whispered.  
  
The grin stayed in place even as her skin began to fold back to be replaced by the scaly blue surface that was her true form. The guy he had tackled to the ground had stood and was dusting himself off, sending John almost comically reproachful glances.  
  
Then Magneto came floating from the alley's shadows.  
  
John backed up, holding his lighter defensively. "What do you want?" he demanded.  
  
Magneto smiled enigmatically. "To help you, of course."  
  
John told himself to turn around, find Rogue, and get back to the mansion. But he couldn't. Despite all the horrors he had been told--he was fascinated with Magneto.  
  
"Help me how?" he asked suspiciously. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the guy by Mystique take out a deck of cards, and toss them from one hand to the other.  
  
"You're not happy with Xavier," Magneto said kindly. He stood before John now, and walked a few steps closer.  
  
John didn't back down even as he came to stand right in front of him.  
  
"Join me, Pyro. And I will give you the freedom you seek."  
  
"John!"  
  
The shout was Rogue's again, and since John could still see Mystique grinning at him beside Mr. Casino Dealer, he was guessing it was the real one this time. He started to turn to face her but Magneto grabbed his arm. Before he could protest, Magneto had placed a small piece of paper in his hands.  
  
"Think about it," he told him quietly. Then he motioned for the others to fall back.  
  
Rogue reached him just as they disappeared into the dark.  
  
"Are you okay?" she demanded. "I saw you rush out the doors and thought something was wrong--and then, my god--what is Magneto even doing here?"  
  
"I'm fine," John said, turning to face her. "He didn't hurt me."  
  
"We have to get back to the mansion," Rogue said. "We have to tell the Professor."  
  
John grabbed her arm as she turned to head back through the club. "Rogue, wait--I don't think we should say anything about this."  
  
Rogue's eyes widened. "What? Have you lost all leave of your senses, John? That was MAGNETO."  
  
"I know who it was, Rogue," John said patiently. "But he wasn't here to cause trouble and I don't see why we should bother anyone about it."  
  
Rogue studied him with some suspicion. "What did he say to you, John?"  
  
"Nothing much, you got here just a few minutes after me. Look, I agree we should head back, but promise me, promise me you won't mention this."  
  
"John--" Rogue said, starting to shake her head.  
  
John took her hands in his and forced her to look at him. "I've never asked you for anything, Rogue. But I have to ask you now--keep this between us. Just for a few days."  
  
"Why?" she demanded. "Why are you protecting that monster?"  
  
"He isn't a monster, Rogue," John said patiently.  
  
"You don't know him like I do."  
  
"Promise me," he demanded.  
  
Rogue had the worse feeling everything she'd built with John over the last days was hanging in the balance, so she did the only thing she could-- "I promise." 


	4. Part Four

Note: Thank you to everyone who has reviewed! And, to x_authentic, Gambit was in the last chapter-- kind of. He was who John thought of as Mister Casino Dealer. I didn't mention his real name though, and didn't want to even attempt writing dialogue for him so it was just a short little insert. : P  
  
Rogue watched John as he sat by the window. He was across the room from where she sat with Bobby and Jubilee, oblivious to any of them. She would have given anything to have the Professor's powers at that moment, to know what was going through his mind.  
  
She hadn't told anyone about John's confrontation with Magneto, and keeping it to herself was haunting her. She had a pretty good idea what Magneto had wanted--and it scared her that John seemed to be thinking about giving it to him--that John was actually thinking about leaving and joining him.  
  
She wasn't naïve, she knew that he was. She couldn't fathom why he would ever consider it, but as she watched him stare into the distance with that detached gaze she knew in her heart he was. And she didn't know what to say to keep him here.  
  
John seemed to feel her eyes on him, and he turned slowly in her direction. With a sigh, he got to his feet and left the room. Rogue watched him worriedly, but when she moved to follow Bobby gently grabbed her hand and shook his head.  
  
"Let him go," he told her.  
  
Rogue looked down at the floor. Bobby didn't know what he was asking. He didn't know like she did where John was planning to run. But she stayed where she was regardless. She would talk to John tonight, she would get him to confide in her again tonight and they would work this all out once and for all.  
  
But that night, John didn't come.  
  
________________________________________________________  
  
He had sat on his bed for hours before deciding to do it--his lighter in one hand, Magneto's Mutant Terrorist business card in the other. He just sat there in the dark, waging a war inside of himself. Part of him wanted to just turn the number to ashes and move on with his life, but the rest of him seemed to know already that he wouldn't. That he would eventually be drawn to use it.  
  
So he had forced himself to his feet, and crept from his room--taking the hall that would lead him away from Rogue's room and take him to the mansion's front entrance. He knew he should at least say goodbye, but he didn't want to put either of them through that if he didn't have to. So he just left.  
  
But Rogue followed him. She had been determined to get him to talk, so she had gone to find him when he had not shown up--only when she had reached his room it was empty. Panic took control of her then, and she was flying down the hallway and racing down the steps towards the front doors before she could even run through all the possibilities of where he had gone. She just ran, not even caring if she was making enough noise to wake some of the others.  
  
She flew out the doors, letting them swing shut behind her. "John!" she called after him. She could see that he had already reached the broken part of the 'gate, and he had stopped half-way through at her shout. "Why didn't you come get me?" she demanded breathlessly when she reached him.  
  
"Go back inside, Rogue," he told her softly.  
  
"What?" she demanded. "No. I'm going with you. I always go." Rogue made a move to go through the gate but John's hand shot out, blocking her way.  
  
"I'm not coming back this time," he whispered.  
  
Rogue froze at the confession. She had been so afraid this would happen, but over the last few days, she had finally convinced herself it would no longer have to. "You can't," she hissed. "You can't just leave! John--"  
  
"I have to," he interrupted. "I've always had to, Rogue--it's just that neither of us wanted to accept it until now."  
  
Rogue glared at him, and trapped his face between her gloved hands. "I DO NOT accept this."  
  
John closed his eyes. "Well I do."  
  
"No, no! You can't. I won't LET you--I'm getting Xavier."  
  
Rogue turned to leave but John caught her wrists. She tried to jerk away but he held on tighter. "Let me go," she demanded, blinking to hold back tears.  
  
John pulled her towards him. He wrapped his arms around her, trapping her in his embrace.  
  
"Let me go," she demanded again, this time in a whisper.  
  
"If you can't stop me--they won't, Rogue," he told her.  
  
"I CAN stop you," she told him.  
  
"I know. But this time you won't. You know what it would cost me. What it would cost us both."  
  
"You can't do this, John--not after all of this." Rogue pulled back from him, and this time he let her. "I thought you were getting better. Happier. I thought you knew you could trust me again."  
  
"I do trust you, Rogue," he told her finally. "And maybe that's part of the reason I have to go."  
  
"You don't! I WON'T betray you, John, you have to believe that--you can stay."  
  
"I know you wouldn't betray me," he said. "But if I stay--I might betray you. I have to go, Rogue."  
  
"And where are you going?" Rogue snapped. "Where, John? Magneto?! Are you going to join him?"  
  
John didn't say anything, but the silence was answer enough. Rogue shook her head disbelievingly. "I thought we had a connection--I thought we were going to face the future together," she said.  
  
"We can't--because I don't have a future here, Rogue--and I know you can't come with me. I would never ask." John turned to look out through the gate, one of his hands clasping onto the metal chain links.  
  
"What if I did want to?" Rogue asked quietly, following his gaze to the dark street.  
  
John looked over at her sadly. "I still wouldn't ask."  
  
"John--"  
  
"You belong here, Rogue, but we both know I don't."  
  
"You could," Rogue snapped. "If you really wanted to, John--you COULD."  
  
"It doesn't work like that. We all have paths we have to follow, Rogue. And ours don't meet up. Not any time soon."  
  
"If you do this--" Rogue started. "If you do this, Bobby will never forgive you."  
  
"But you will," John told her, flashing an arrogant grin.  
  
Rogue glared at him. "No. I won't forgive you either."  
  
John stepped up to her, placed a hand behind her neck and then moved down to pull her into a kiss. Rogue was too startled to pull away, and she wasn't sure if she could have anyway. He moved away after what could only have been a moment, leaving her shivering at the sudden cold his absence brought. He grinned at her dazed expression.  
  
"Yes you will," he repeated, and then he slipped through the gate and disappeared into the shadows.  
  
Rogue watched him disappear--uncertain what to do. She was caught between chasing down after him, getting someone to help her bring him back--and just letting him go. She eventually turned around and headed back inside. She would let him go, for now--she didn't really have a choice.  
  
When she entered the mansion again, the light from the open door illuminated the Professor's powerful visage. He looked at Rogue sadly. "He's gone."  
  
Rogue nodded, even though she knew it had not been a question. Then she fled past him and up the stairs.  
  
________________________________________________________  
  
John pulled his coat tighter around him. He hadn't looked back, and truthfully, he only had one reason to. Rogue was the only thing he would miss--but he couldn't stay there even for her. He had to leave *for* and because her. She would be far better off with the X-Men and Bobby, and what had been growing between them was dangerous for them both.  
  
He'd been walking for three blocks when he finally came across a phone booth. He entered the booth and shut the door against the cold, nervously smoothing his hand over his lighter. He leaned back against the glass and closed his eyes.  
  
He was doing the right thing. The right thing for him. Magneto may not have the best methods, but he was at least getting things done.  
  
He slowly reached out and picked up the phone, he dropped in two quarters then pulled out the crumpled paper with the number Magneto had left with him. He hesitated for a moment, and then dialed.  
  
The "Hello?" came almost instantly, and John thought it might be Mystique's voice that answered. One of them, anyway.  
  
John's eyes strayed back in the direction of the mansion, and with a sigh he closed them again. No looking back. "Hey," he said evenly. "It's Pyro."  
  
The End--maybe. I'm not sure yet if I want to add more chapters. This was how I always intended to leave it, but now that I've got here, I feel like I need to write more. I'm almost tempted to have Rogue and John end up together or at least write more confrontation ; )---but I'm not sure how I would do it. 


End file.
